Twitter Tweets
@LukeVernon my favourite song ever, and its my alarm on phone. Wakes me up in a good mood!1 week ago from Twitter for iPhone
@LukeVernon gimme shelter gives me the urge to watch my favorite film #goodfellas1 week ago from Twitter for Android
Or GLASTONBURY even. Not sure where Galstonbury is, but Im sure it doesn't have the worlds biggest festival. Sounds Texan.1 week ago from txt
In a restaurant in the middle of the US and the song with the best intro ever came on, Gimme Shelter. Which reminded me, in 3 weeks....1 week ago from txt
I shall be seeing one of the greatest live acts of all time, The Rolling Stones, @ THE greatest festival ever, GALSTONBURY! Yes, Im shouting1 week ago from txt
February 1 in history
1327 Teenaged Edward III was crowned King of England, but the country was ruled by his mother Queen Isabella and her lover Roger Mortimer.
1662 Chinese general Koxinga seized the island of Taiwan after a nine-month siege.
1663 Mother Ignacia del Espiritu Santo, Filipino foundress of the Religious of ... Continue reading
October 14 in history
1066 Norman Conquest: Battle of Hastings the forces of William the Conqueror defeated the English army and kill King Harold II of England.
1322 Robert the Bruce of Scotland defeated King Edward II of England at Byland, forcing Edward to accept Scotland s independence.
1644 William Penn, English fo ... Continue reading
The Sweet Tune of Memories. . .
It’s surprising how a song can take you right back to a point in time when you least expect it. Sitting in a bar down in the Falklands I suddenly found myself transported back to 2001; sitting on the number 4 bus in York with my first love and his sister. Some clever spark had put Shakira , Whenever Wherever, on the jukebox. It wasn’t for them to know that this song choice would suddenly give me flash backs like out of a horro r movie but I did have the sudden urge to scold them with a hot tea or coffee the next time they’re unfortunate to be on one of my flights. You see the bus driver had put this song on full blast just as I was in the middle of a blazing row with my ex. It’s not just Shakira that haunts me, although she is the only recording artist that I would happily burn at the stake for crimes against music, Natasha Bedingfield also holds memories for me. Any track of hers from the Unwritten album takes me back to 2005 and over to Cyprus. This was my summer of obsession with a man named Craig, another one who turned out to be an absolute arse. It wasn’t just his persistent playing Natasha Bedingfield that got on my tits but his firm belief he was worth more than anyone else. Also the fact he’d openly said I was much fatter than anyone he’d normally go for didn’t really do much for my opinion of him, especially as I was only 11 stone. Don’t get me wrong, there are also many happy memories hidden in music; just one beat of anything by Booty Luv brings a smile to my face. It also makes me long for a bottle of rose wine and makes me want to mince around my forgotten friend’s apartment laughing at jokes that only we would get. Play Alcazar and you’ll soon understand the real me. Anything by Alcazar makes me want to party. Alcazar is my obsession and holds no hidden meaning apart from a good time. One particular song of theirs called Shopping has quite possibly the best lyrics of any pop song; ‘you broke my heart and I go shopping shopping, you broke my heart, I put your name on a credit card and I go shopping shopping.’ Obviously written by someone fresh from the Paul McCartney school of music. Any funky house track reminds me of my one true love. I can see his dance and his beaming jokers smile. I can smell his Star aftershave; it takes me back to a time when I was in complete ethereal love. It brings mixed emotions of comfort and love, but it also reminds me I no longer have that love anymore. Perhaps the most embarrassing track I can ever listen to is the song Naked by Louise , formally of Eternal. The very thought of the song sends shudders up my spine and transports me back to the world of an awkward fat teenager. To be precise it takes me back to a drama lesson in 1999. As part of my drama project I thought it would be perfectly acceptable by my peers to perform an extremely camp dance routine to it, a routine that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a Steps appearance on Top Of The Pops. After this, in my opinion BAFTA award-winning performance, there was no denying I was gay. This song outed me and scarred me for life. Perhaps the most special album I own is the supreme Ghosts by Siobhan Donaghy . If ever I feel down and need music to be melancholy to this is my album of choice. What makes the album even more special to me is the fact that so few people own it. It makes me feel lucky to know I’m one of few who have ever had the joy of Miss Donaghy’s velvety vocals caressing my ears. The song So You Say holds a deep meaning to me. And although I like to think the album was written especially for me, you can download it from iTunes or purchase it from Amazon . Feel free to share what songs take you back. Comment below or email mikie@handbagsnbotox.com for your choice to be featured in a follow up article. www.handbagsnbotox.info ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ About the author In 1985 a child was born with bigger lungs than Dame Shirley Bassey and with equal horrendous dress sense. Struggling to grow up as a queen – drama queen that is – Mikie needed a creative outlet. Attending the same drama class as the 90’s Coronation Street kids, Mikie was sure he’d become a star. However, after a brief stint appearing in appalling ITV shows The Grimleys and then Cold Feet, he realised that he had enough drama in his own life without creating more on screen. Turning his back on the theatre Mikie went on to become a sales assistant in Manchester’s very own gay beauty salon. After a few skin peels and a bit of Botox himself, he soon realised his skin was too good to be kept confined in Manchester so took to the skies as a Trolley Dolly. With more mince than Sainsbury’s, Mikie worked his magic up and down the aisle serving tea and coffee for British Airways, FlyGlobespan and AirAtlanta. Whilst travelling to glamorous destinations such as New York, Toronto, Cape Town and *ahem* Chad, he made a quick nine month stop over in Cyprus where he earned his keep as a distinctly average hotel singer. After studying English, Drama and Performance at Salford University he has taken back to the skies as cabin crew once more, this time putting his degree to good use pouring tea and coffee for squaddies on a MoD contract to the Falklands. Mikie also like to keep his twitter followers up to date on his antics in the south atlantic by writing his blog handbagsnbotox.info. Now settled back into Manchester, after several restraining orders that prevent him from going south of Birmingham, Mikie spends his spare time watching Victoria Wood repeats, avoiding the gym and boasting about his praise from Sara Cox, Boy George, Eamonn Holmes, Pam Ann and his all time favourite, Dr Christian from Channel4’s Embarrassing Bodies. Read more of his hilarious blogs at www.handbagsnbotox.info Continue reading
Territory
Well the ba***rd is back in town, and not only is he back, he’s back with a fine hunk of a new boyfriend, and he’s looking amazing as well. My ex, that is. Now six month down the line, you’d be right in thinking that I should have moved on. Well I have, just not when it comes to my territory. You see my best friend, although right now I am considering throwing her in the Manchester Ship Canal along with all the other rats and used condoms, bumped into my ex and felt the need to phone me and tell me he ’s looking extremely hot and his new boyfriend is stunning, I know what you’re thinking, the bitch. To her defence she is a bit dippy at times and probably had no idea what she was saying would annoy me, however I am accepting applications for a new fag hag, so apply within. It’s not that I’m bitter or jealous about his new boyfriend, I would gladly buy him a drink (spiked with arsenic). What annoys me though is the political terms of a brake up. I introduced him to all my friends, as he came from out of the area, I also introduced him to my favourite bars. These bars he has now started to frequent on his own. Surly the polite thing to do in this situation would be to find your own bars, bars that you know won’t cause an atmosphere with you both being there at the same time. Now as these were places I was getting drunk as a cross dresser on tranny night and then being swept out with the rubbish in the morning, way before he came on the scene, I consider these to be my territory along with all the friends I introduced him to. Luckily my friends remain my friends and not his, but unfortunately I can feel the control of my side of the village slipping away. What the reintroduction of this Barclays banker into my social world brings though, is the reminder that I am still single and without a date for the previous 20 Saturday nights, so GenerationQ readers I put it to you to find me man. Preferably between 22 and 70, tall or short, fat or thin, rich or poor, sense of humour not important, neither is use of all limbs, not that I’m desperate, just open minded. Apply at www.myspace.com/mikie_l . Until next time, please excuse me, I’m going to go and remind myself that I may be gay by nature, but I’m fabulous by choice. P.S if you’re bitter about something let us now, not that we care, we just want a laugh. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ About the author In 1985 a child was born with bigger lungs than Dame Shirley Bassey and with equal horrendous dress sense. Struggling to grow up as a queen – drama queen that is – Mikie needed a creative outlet. Attending the same drama class as the 90’s Coronation Street kids, Mikie was sure he’d become a star. However, after a brief stint appearing in appalling ITV shows The Grimleys and then Cold Feet, he realised that he had enough drama in his own life without creating more on screen. Turning his back on the theatre Mikie went on to become a sales assistant in Manchester’s very own gay beauty salon. After a few skin peels and a bit of Botox himself, he soon realised his skin was too good to be kept confined in Manchester so took to the skies as a Trolley Dolly. With more mince than Sainsbury’s, Mikie worked his magic up and down the aisle serving tea and coffee for British Airways, FlyGlobespan and AirAtlanta. Whilst travelling to glamorous destinations such as New York, Toronto, Cape Town and *ahem* Chad, he made a quick nine month stop over in Cyprus where he earned his keep as a distinctly average hotel singer. After studying English, Drama and Performance at Salford University he has taken back to the skies as cabin crew once more, this time putting his degree to good use pouring tea and coffee for squaddies on a MoD contract to the Falklands. Mikie also like to keep his twitter followers up to date on his antics in the south atlantic by writing his blog handbagsnbotox.com. Now settled back into Manchester, after several restraining orders that prevent him from going south of Birmingham, Mikie spends his spare time watching Victoria Wood repeats, avoiding the gym and boasting about his praise from Sara Cox, Boy George, Eamonn Holmes, Pam Ann and his all time favourite, Dr Christian from Channel4’s Embarrassing Bodies. Read more of his hilarious blogs at www.handbagsnbotox.info Continue reading
A Weighty Issue
Anyone who has been on twitter recently could not have failed to notice all the derogatory comments aimed at the beautiful Coleen Nolan . They were coming quicker and faster than the star of embarrassing bodies the other week. Rather than being comments about Coleen’s ability to present, which she is clearly very good at, they were once again about her weight. We all know the story o f the celeb style magazines, such a celeb has put on weight, another celeb has lost weight oh and surprise surprise, there is Jordan in the back ground of a celeb party trying desperately to hang onto her little bit of fame she has. She’s stood next to a guest from channel 4’s embarrassing bodies (completely obsessed with this car crash program) who’s just showed the nation her vagina, which is in desperate need of a glade plugin. Have we become that used to these magazines that we ourselves have become just as judgmental or have we been seduced by TV to be that way inclined. Is it that we now over look people’s talent because of the size of their waistline? I myself was on the receiving end of such feedback when I was just 16. I was massively over weight; in fact I was creeping up to 19 stone. I looked like an UmpaLumpa, albeit a camp one. At that time I was at drama school, had an agent and had filmed bit parts in Cold Feet and The Grimley’s . However my agent didn’t agree with my look and I was told that if I wanted to be successful I would have to be slim, well that’s the polite version of events. Just five months later, through a ridiculous diet, I had slimmed down to 12 stone. Shortly after that I told my agent to shove it. I never appeared on TV again. There is no doubt that the TV stations themselves are portraying this same type of discrimination. After asking my followers on twitter to name a celebrity on TV who was a size 16 and over I received many responses but with only the following names repeated, Jo Brand , Katy Brand , Miranda Hart and Dawn French. Someone did also mention Vanessa Fletz , Vanessa herself insists she’s a size 14. Someone should inform her that just because she squeezes into one it doesn’t mean she is one. Should we also be concerned that these women that are larger sizes generally portray figures to be laughed at? This type of behavior is crossed over onto soaps too; EastEnder’s Heather and Coronation Street’s Eileen are both larger ladies and portray characters that are pathetically hopeless. If we take the wonderful and amazing Allison Hammond as an example, she is a fantastic presenter, full of energy and a pleasure to watch, was she overlooked for the presenting job on This Morning because of her weight? We’ll never know. I personally think she was by far a better option to have taken over from Fern Britton than Holly Willoughby , not that Holly is bad at the job but Alison certainly has that added sparkle. With Holly soon going on maternity leave there will once again be an empty space on that sofa, will ITV finally make the right decision and give it to Alison? Only time will tell. I guess what I’m trying to say is shouldn’t we be embracing the larger women that are on our TV screens? When the average dress size in the UK is now a size 16 why do we find it difficult to think of women on TV who are this size and larger? I think it’s time to embrace the curves; after all, what’s a wide screen for. Let me know what you think, tweet me at www.handbagsnbotox.info/contact.htm ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ About the author In 1985 a child was born with bigger lungs than Dame Shirley Bassey and with equal horrendous dress sense. Struggling to grow up as a queen – drama queen that is – Mikie needed a creative outlet. Attending the same drama class as the 90’s Coronation Street kids, Mikie was sure he’d become a star. However, after a brief stint appearing in appalling ITV shows The Grimleys and then Cold Feet, he realised that he had enough drama in his own life without creating more on screen. Turning his back on the theatre Mikie went on to become a sales assistant in Manchester’s very own gay beauty salon. After a few skin peels and a bit of Botox himself, he soon realised his skin was too good to be kept confined in Manchester so took to the skies as a Trolley Dolly. With more mince than Sainsbury’s, Mikie worked his magic up and down the aisle serving tea and coffee for British Airways, FlyGlobespan and AirAtlanta. Whilst travelling to glamorous destinations such as New York, Toronto, Cape Town and *ahem* Chad, he made a quick nine month stop over in Cyprus where he earned his keep as a distinctly average hotel singer. After studying English, Drama and Performance at Salford University he has taken back to the skies as cabin crew once more, this time putting his degree to good use pouring tea and coffee for squaddies on a MoD contract to the Falklands. Mikie also like to keep his twitter followers up to date on his antics in the south atlantic by writing his blog handbagsnbotox.com. Now settled back into Manchester, after several restraining orders that prevent him from going south of Birmingham, Mikie spends his spare time watching Victoria Wood repeats, avoiding the gym and boasting about his praise from Sara Cox, Boy George, Eamonn Holmes, Pam Ann and his all time favourite, Dr Christian from Channel4’s Embarrassing Bodies. Read more of his hilarious blogs at www.handbagsnbotox.info Continue reading
Review – The Fish Child
Today (8th March) is International Women's Day and 2011 is the 100th anniversary of the day being celebrated, so I've chosen a humdinger of a film to celebrate! The Fish Child (18) Director: Lucia Puenzo 2009 (released here January 2011) Peccadillo Pictures Spanish with English subtitlesI shouldn’t like this film - lesbians portrayed as amoral transgressors and a lead character who teases her girlfriend by flirting (and more) with men – but strangely, I do. Set in Argentina, this is the story of middle class Lala and her relationship with the family’s maid Ailin. The two young women are in love with each other but Ailin’s life is far more complicated than Lala’s. She is exploited by everyone around her because of her class, her ethnicity and her blazing sexuality. It may be that even Lala is one of Ailin’s tormentors despite herself. Lucia Puenzo is a tough film-maker – she doesn’t let anyone off the hook. She challenges macho culture and its cruelty and corruption with an unblinking eye. Her first film XXY caused a huge stir in Argentina and I bet this raised a few eyebrows too. I don’t think the Buenos Aires tourist board will be knocking on her door any time soon! I think she is a film maker of rare honesty and the fact that she's be able to make her second feature means she's being recognised as an important voice. After the two women commit a crime and Lala goes on the run, events unravel until we find out the identity of the mythical Fish Child. It’s almost painful to watch with scenes of beauty and brutality in equal measure. Ailin pays a heavy price at every stage and there seems no escape for her at all until, at last, the hopeless dreamer Lala finally wakes up and takes action – and wow, I mean ACTION! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ About the author Joan Burnett’s passion for queer film started when she saw her first fabulous gay kiss in My Beautiful Laundrette more moons ago than she cares to remember. After seven years at FACT and a stint for Oustiders LGBT Film Festival, she’s as keen as ever for people to see great LGBT movies. She reviews the best new and classic films and DVDs available. Continue reading
Review – Just Say Love
Do you suffer terrible withdrawal symptoms between July and September when the theatres are shut? Then I’ve got the perfect antidote for you in Just Say Love, adapted from David J Mauriello’s original stage play. Two men meet in the park at lunch time – squeeky-clean, geeky Guy reading his copy of Plato and hunky Doug eating his butty and swigging his beer, sweaty vest and all. A definite attraction springs up between them, so to speak, and they start an affair. The film is shot exactly as if it were on stage, with theatre set interiors and a spotlight on each man as he speaks. Their love-making is shown as a series of tableaux, like scenes from an ancient Geek vase, and while this might sound twee, it avoids sickliness and is a gently erotic way of representing their growing confidence. In fact, gentleness is the key mood for this film – the two men find their way through a series of misunderstandings to a very special agreement – but telling you more than that would spoil it for you. You need to find your other half, literally the other half of your Platonic self, and settle on the sofa ready for a romantic night in. “What we are, is love” says Plato in Guy’s book: what this film is, is lovely. Directed by Bill Humphreys Starring Matthew Jaeger, Robert Mammana TLA Releasing Feb 2011 Cert 15 _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ About the author Joan Burnett’s passion for queer film started when she saw her first fabulous gay kiss in My Beautiful Laundrette more moons ago than she cares to remember. After seven years at FACT and a stint for Oustiders LGBT Film Festival, she’s as keen as ever for people to see great LGBT movies. She reviews the best new and classic films and DVDs available. Continue reading
Review – Fruit Fly
Another film inflected with theatre, but this time a raucous, daft, vivacious musical splitting at the seams with gags, fags and hags. There are echoes of Tales of t he City here – the setting is San Francisco and the lead character Bethesda, rolls up like Mary Ann Singleton all bright eyes and high hopes, to find herself in a crazy boarding house full of gays. There’s no Mrs Madrigal though, just a grumpy bloke called Tracy and a new best friend called Windy. Bethesda’s story is simply a handy peg on which to hang lots of musical numbers – the film bursts out into numerous songs like a low- rent Busby Berkeley movie, except Berkeley never had “We are The Hag”. Sometimes there's a problem with the representation of the whole fag hag thing and it’s undertone of misogyny, but here the Hags get their moment in the spotlight and they are Fabulous, Fantastic and Fierce! Go The Hag! Occasionally the humour verges on bitchy, but the film trips along and some of the songs are really funny. Self-absorbed teenager Jacob does a very clever routine with his laptop like a modern-day Narcissus, the Versatile Bottoms song made me laugh out loud (true, so true...)and the credits where someone plays Tetris with the San Francisco skyline are a cute touch. Fruit Fly Directed by H P Mendoza TLA Releasing October 2010 Cert 15 ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ About th e author Joan Burnett’s passion for q ueer film started when she saw her first fabulous gay kiss in My Beautiful Laundrette more moons ago than she cares to remember. After seven years at FACT and a stint for Oustiders LGBT Film Festival, she’s as keen as ever for people to see great LGBT movies. She reviews the best new and classic films and DVDs available. Continue reading
Eye candy!
Candy Follow Up.... SO IT WAS JAMES FRANCO: Actor James Franco was the cover shim of Candy Magazine. James has appeared in Global Blockbuster hits playing gay men and directed movies about gay men, but has had us all guessing about his sexuality. Photographer Terry Richardson shot the cover, which is all part of James's promo tactics for his new flick 'Howl' and 127 days, Films later to be released. ARCHIVED: I've gone back into my cover archive this time because I’ve missed the train when it comes to the latest covers this week, everything is old news before it even hits the magazine stands. So I came across V magazine, back in early Autumn, titled "THE SEX BODY ISSUE'" V mag had a limited edition run of four different 'scratch off covers' the V was printed in the scratch off to reveal, "More' of the cover models, once revealed, it doesn't leave much to the imagination! Brightly coloured neon glows worked lovely across the 4 varieties. About The Author Michael Kelly is 23-years-old. With good design genes and being musically inclined, he hates wearing a uniform. He graduated in 2009 from the Liverpool School of Art & Design and is Art Director at Seen Magazine. He has an unhealthy obsession with magazines and Lady GaGa. The cover of an issue makes a huge impact on the book. It's the first thing to attract you to a publication. I'll be scouring the web to find you the very best (and sometimes worst) magazine covers from all over the globe, some you may recognise some you may not, talking just a little about design, photographers and general creative direction. I hope you like... Continue reading
Lights, camera, action!
It goes without saying; I love my shiny new iPad, an early Christmas present for my self. And what better way to spend a cold windy evening than me and my boyfriend in bed together... with our ipads. Sad you might think, but once you've started tapping, swiping and flicking (the iPad I mean not my boyfriend), you instantly become addicted. So while he was playing on GTA, shooting zombies etc, I did only the thing a person in my creative roll would do, and downloaded some magazine apps. My top five are Vogue, Attitude, Vmagazine, wired and Interview. The cream of the crop is, of course, Vogue – call me a gay clich Continue reading