Gay Norfolk

10 Reasons Cheyenne Jackson’s Marriage Works In a 2008 cover story for The Advocate , Broadway heartthrob Cheyenne Jackson said he had no need for marriage to validate his relationship with longtime boyfriend Monte Lapka. Some of our best friends have done the full-on wedding with invitations and tuxes, and that s perfect for them, but we already feel like we re married, he explained. Cut to last September, when the 30 Rock star and Lapka officially tied the knot , taking advantage of New York s new marriage equality law.

Returning to Broadway this fall in The Performers , the rising pop singer is now sharing 10 secrets to the success of his marriage including what gives him a metaphysical boner in a new interview on DavidMixner.com : 1. Monte is not an actor.

2. He appreciates what I do and is proud of me.

However, he isn’t impressed by show business in general, and doesn’t get excited to meet famous people or going to fancy events. He doesn’t have a twitter account and has no aspirations to be famous in any way. When asked if we would ever be a part of a reality show, he quoted a friend of ours (a young, beautiful dark-haired Tony-winning Broadway darling) who once replied to a ludicrous question with the blunt…”I’d rather s*** in my own mouth.” He is more interested in what you have to say about life and the world we live in, than what movie you just did.

3. He puts up with my mercurial actor nature.

4. We both fully realize that there is no perfect person.

As soon as you come to the realization that you can’t change someone, and truly accept each other for who you are, even if one of you isn’t very tidy (me), or one of you noisily eats chips while the other is trying to get some work done (him)…then you are good to go.

5. Not only do we love each other, we actually like each other and would rather hang out together than with anybody else.

6. We talk a lot.

Communication is key. Even if I am on the other coast, we speak at least 6-8 times a day.

7. We fight.

Then we get over it. It’s important to disagree and have arguments and feel safe enough with each other to get it out, but it’s also important to be able to let it go. Some just take a little longer to do that. (me.) But I’m getting faster.

Every fight is truly just about wanting to be heard. You can thank Oprah for that little chestnut.

8. He has a wicked, dry sense of humor, and doesn’t suffer fools.

That always gives me a metaphysical boner.

9.

Even after 12 years, I miss him when he’s not around.

10.

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